Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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