He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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