Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
