he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I am naked and annoyed.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
