you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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