So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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