I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
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Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
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I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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