What did we do last night that was yellow?
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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