I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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