it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
