I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
