Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
