I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
