And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
