is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
