I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
What drink are we having for lunch?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
