This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
You can't motorboat a personality
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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