Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Who died my cat blue again?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
