it was like his penis was on wheels.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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