Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Randomize
