I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
