you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
