I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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