I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
My life is pants optional.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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