Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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