I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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