I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
