I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
