Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
