arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize