I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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