I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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