Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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