oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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