Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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