I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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