I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Randomize
