I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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