How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
