i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize