Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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