It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
