You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
