im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Randomize
