You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
