apparently the secret to your success is patron
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
