I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
