my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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