The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
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He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
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I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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