then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Can you bring me the toilet please
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
