I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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