As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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