Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
