i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
