Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
