it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
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My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
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